Ever Fallen In Love?
by DaniCalifornia
Summary: What happens when Magneto isn't around to look after the Acolytes? Sexual frustration, physical abuse, and drunken mistakes all thrown into one!
1. A Match Made In Heaven

Ever Fallen In Love?

A/N: What do yah know? I did name it after a song. This time the honor goes to the Buzzcocks for their hit Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't Have), but don't let that fool you, I promise you a cheesy happy ending.

Setting: After Day of Reckoning while Magneto is still presumed dead. Slight AU, while the X-men think he might still be alive, the Acolytes aren't sure either.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

1: A match made in Heaven…or Hell.

A brunette Cajun with a hang over of epic proportion wandered down the staircase of Magneto's old base late one Saturday morning. Since Magneto was MIA there was no one around to order the Acolytes around anymore and the whole place had gone to hell. After two months without leadership it actually rivaled the Brotherhood house.

In the living room a red haired Australian was "jackin' dope rides and beatin' hoes", AKA playing the latest installment of Grand Theft Auto (1). At the moment he was setting fire to all of Liberty City and letting out his psychotic laugh.

Remy went into the kitchen where the light from the window nearly blinded him. He dug through the cabinet till he found some Tylenol. He swallowed half the bottle and chugged a glass of water.

"You know that probably is good for you." Commented the Ausie, entering the kitchen.

"Says the kid who was taking Windex shots last night." Muttered Remy.

"Is that what that burning is? Last night's kind of a blur." Pyro went into the fridge and started sifting through their moldy food. "I didn't do anything stupid, did I?"

Remy thought for a second. "Non, not really. Took a couple Windex shots, went streaking through the street. Kind of a quiet night." Said Remy not sure if he meant it sarcastically or sincerely. He glanced up at the doorway to the kitchen. "Oh yeah and there was dat." He added.

"What?" Asked John poking his head out of the fridge. He flinched at the sight of the Scarlet Witch lurking in the doorway. "Ah!"

The Scarlet Witch looked as hung over as Remy. Her hair was messy and all over the place, like she'd just woken up, and she was dressed in John's boxers and "Basket Case" T-shirt. Remy wanted to laugh at the lack of irony in it.

"Oh god no!" Yelled the witch at sight of John. She could only guess at the events of the night before, but she was pretty sure she was right.

"I feel dirty." Said John shivering.

Wanda turned to the Cajun. "Tell me we didn't."

Remy just smirked and left the room. Wanda turned back to the Ausie.

"Listen!" She yelled. "No one ever learns of this!"

"Believe meh, I won't be bragging." Agreed John immediately.

"I'm gonna go take a shower." She said wandering out of the kitchen. She desperately needed to clean herself. Once she was out of sight John jetted into the living room where Remy was lying on the couch trying to nurse the brain-shattering headache he had.

"How the hell could you let me do that?" yelled John.

"Hey, Remy tried to stop yah when yah go a hold of the Windex, he'd given up by the time yah were licking her face." (2)

John was appalled at Remy's chaperone skills. "Why was she here anyway? If Magneto's gone can't she drop the whole angry-patricidal-teenager thing?"

"Apparently not. She threatened to do Haitian voodoo rattle torture on meh unless Ah told her where Magnet-boy was. After ten minutes of her shaking maracas in my ear Ah think she realized that Ah really didn't know."

"I have to go find something to wash myself with." said John leaving the room.

Remy sat in peace for no more than a second before there was pounding at the front door. He got up, cursing in French, and wandered over to the door. He opened the door and set his eyes upon a southern brunette. Suddenly his headache disappeared.

"Why, Bonjour, Mon Chere"

"Hey, Sugah." Said Rogue with a smile.

Some how Remy had managed to rope Rogue into a relationship, but neither was really sure how it was supposed to work. Other than the homicidal Wolverine who didn't need another reason to kill the Cajun there were a couple of other obstacles to over come.

"Little early, non?" Remy commented.

"Well," Started Rogue. "If Ah even attempt to leave the Institute past three in the afternoon Logan bombards meh with a million questions so Ah thought Ah'd come over early so Ah don't have to lie to him."

"But its sexy dat yah've gotta lie bout meh, Chere." Said the Cajun charmer with a devilish smile.

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Yeah? So are those boxers."

Remy glanced down at his boxers that were covered in penguins. "Yah think?"

Rogue stepped past Remy into the living room just in time to catch sight of a blonde Australian being thrown down the hallway. Wanda stomped down the hallway after him with just a towel wrapped around her and murder in her eyes.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You retarded Australian freak?"

John squirmed on the ground as the Scarlet Witch towered over him. "Look, Wanda, I swear to God it was an accident! I didn't mean to, and _believe_ me, I wish I didn't!"

"You're damn right you wish you didn't!" She bellowed. "But just incase you don't…" John was suddenly lifted off the ground and random items from around the room began flying at his head.

"So yah mind explainin' this to meh, or is people tryin to kill Pyro normal?" Rogue asked as she and Remy looked on at the fight.

"Well, it does happen a lot, but dis is a special case."

"Oh?" Rogue asked, intrigued.

"Oui, dis is what happens when two drunken psychopaths crawl into bed together."

"John and Wanda?"

"Match made in heaven, non?" Said Remy as John was sent flying through the window in the living room.

"What the hell are you looking at?" Yelled Wanda at the two southerners.

"Can Remy ask why yah had to waste a perfectly good window on John?"

"That _perv_ walked in on me when I was about to take a shower!" Screeched Wanda.

"_Accidentally!_"' added John as he lay in a bush outside the front of the base.

"Now, now you two." Said Rogue in a sarcastic motherly tone. "Violence is not the answer. Kiss and make up."

"I'd rather die!" Yelled Wanda stomping out the front door of the base.

"Ditto." Muttered John as he crawled back through the shattered window.

A second later Wanda stormed back through the front door of the base.

"I forgot my clothes." She muttered as she stomped back into the bathroom.

xXx

After Wanda had retrieved her clothes John had managed to piss her off even more and the brawl could be heard three houses down. Rogue and Remy agreed that watching TV upstairs was safer, with less of a chance of having blunt objects flying at their heads.

But Rogue hadn't realized that meant watching TV in Remy's room. It was surprisingly clean, given the rest of the house. When she'd passed John's room she noticed clothes all over the floor and there where scorch marks all over the walls and Sabertooth's smelt a bit like kitty litter.

So there she sat, Indian style on Remy's bed, while he put pants on. Rogue was incredibly uncomfortable sitting in Remy's room like this, and while his putting on pants helped, she was still hyperventilating.

Instead of staring at Remy while he was changing, which is what she wanted to do, Rogue began flipping through the stations on the TV.

"God, TV sucks without cable." She commented after she went through the six local stations for the fifth time.

"We used to have cable but no one paid the bills. A couple weeks ago the cable guy showed up at the front door and wouldn't leave us alone."

"Ugh, lihke in that terrible Jim Carry movie?" Asked Rogue in disgust. (3)

"Non, more like that _good_ episode of Seinfeld (4), but anyway Sabertooth managed to scare the crap out of him and he ran off. Then they just shut it off."

"That sucks." Muttered Rogue after she settled on watching the Jerry Springer show.

"Oui, Ah miss my Sopranos." Remy sat down on the bed next to Rogue and saw what she was watching. "We have movies y'know."

"Yah don't want to watch the hicks beat each other up?" Asked Rogue sarcastically.

"All dis show is is white trash that sleep with their cousins and want to bitch about it." Said Remy lying back on the bed.

"So can't yah relate to it?" Rogue asked.

"Yah callin meh white trash?"

"Oui," Mocked Rogue.

Remy sat up. "Well its too bad yah're not mah cousin, Chere." He said with a smirk. Every inch of Rogue wanted to kiss him right then. She was sure he wouldn't protest, at least not until she started sucking every bit of energy out of him.

"Yah said yah had movies?" Asked Rogue inching away from the Cajun.

xXx

Rogue arrived on the first floor, dodged a lamp that was flying across the room, hopped over John's body, and started digging through the shelf under the TV in search of a movie.

Remy followed her down but wasn't as nimble and got hit in the back with a dictionary.

"uh!" He grunted hitting the floor.

"G'day, mate!" Greeted John who lay on the floor next to where Remy landed.

"Bonjour." Muttered Remy, attempting to get up before getting hit again, this time with a blow dryer.

"Y'mind not damaging him to much, Wanda? Ah'm gonna need him later." Said Rogue as she rummaged through the Acolytes' collection of movies.

"Oh yeah, Chere?" Said Remy with a smirk as he sat up. A book flew into the side of his head and he was on the floor again.

"Don't worry, I'll save you a limb." Said Wanda.

John, still not brave enough to attempt standing, crawled across the floor of the living room into the kitchen. Wanda caught sight of this and followed him in. The random objects that had been flying around the living room suddenly dropped.

"Does he know that's where the knives are?" Rogue asked.

"Have you seen how many times he's been hit in the head?" Said Remy finally able to get up. He rubbed his head and dropped himself on the couch. "Found anythin' yah like?"

A loud crash that sounded like shattering glass came from the kitchen.

"Jesus Christ Woman!" Was the muffled scream of Ausie.

"All yahr movies suck." Said Rogue as she discarded a couple on the floor.

"Like what?"

"Beverly Hills Cop?" Rogue asked holding up the case of the movie.

"Hey, that's a classic!"

"Maybeh, but Beverly Hills cop 2 and 3?"

Remy sighed. "Dey were on sale."

"Okay, and you have something called 'Santa Clause Conquers the Martians'," She said staring at the case. (A/N: That's an actual movie, no seriously it is.)

"I swear to god I'll kill you, you little spazz!" Screeched the Scarlet Witch from the other room.

"Oh, that's one of John's crazy cult movies. I swear to God it's the worst thing ever made."

"Worst thing ever made in a good way?" Rogue asked eyeing the movie's case.

"Unless yah're stoned, no."

An Australian body was suddenly sent hurdling into the living room landing on the floor by the couch.

"What is going on out here?" Asked a sleepy Colossus wandering into the living room.

"You _just_ woke up?" Yelled Pyro.

xXx

Remy drove Rogue home that night but had to drop her off a block away from the mansion, just so Wolverine wouldn't decapitate him and leave his body in a marsh. When he got back to the base Wanda was lying on the couch watching TV.

"What are yah still doing here?" He asked sitting down in a chair.

"That Australian freak hasn't learned his lesson yet."

"So what are yah taking a brake?" Remy asked since John was no were to be seen.

"Nah, I've got it covered." She said. A second later John fell down the stairs into the living room, quickly got up and jetted out the front door, followed by a clock radio and a toaster that kept throwing themselves at him.

Remy went up to bed and Wanda sat on the couch for a couple minutes listening to the screams of John who was running around the front yard trying to loose the two evil appliances. Finally she went out to the front yard.

John was lying on the grass in the feeble position while the clock and toaster whipped him with their cords. Wanda sighed. The two appliances stopped and fell dead on the grass.

John poked his head up once they stopped. Once he saw them lying motionless on the front lawn his stood up and started screaming obscenities at her.

"Oh my god! You sadistic bitch! What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Do you really want me to hex you again?" Wanda asked. John looked over at the appliances lurking in the grass. He laughed uneasily.

"So how are yah, mate?" he asked throwing his arm over her shoulder.

"Don't touch me." She muttered.

"Right!" John yanked his arm away.

Wanda rolled her eyes. "C'mon." She pulled him by his shirt back into the base.

xXx

John sat on a stool in the kitchen while Wanda bandaged up the various cuts she and a couple of appliances had given to him.

"You know, while I was taking a bath the blow-dryer tried to kill." He said as she put a Band-Aid on his forehead.

Wanda laughed. "They'll do that sometimes."

"I really don't get this. You kick my arse, then bandage me up?"

"Yeah, well now you've learned your lesson."

"What? To not accidentally walk in on psychopaths when they're taking a shower?"

"Precisely." Said Wanda reaching for a bottle of rubbing alcohol. John quickly jumped onto the counter.

"What's that for?" He screeched.

"What?" Wanda asked.

"Rubbing Alcohol!"

"Don't be a sissy." She said grabbing his arm and pulling him off the counter. John jumped across the room.

"Do you really want to get back into this, John?" Wanda asked walking towards him with a rag drenched in alcohol.

"You're not coming near me with that!" He said.

"You'll get infected!" Threatened Wanda.

"I don't care!" he whined.

Wanda dove at him and John jumped onto the counter, knocking a couple pots onto the floor. Wanda grabbed one of them and chucked it at his head. He dodged it and ran towards the fridge.

He grabbed a couple magnets off the fridge and threw them at her. But most of them turned on him and went flying at his face. Then Wanda grabbed his shirt to jerk him towards her. He tried to make a brake for the living room but tripped over one the pots on the floor and fell to the ground, pulling Wanda down with him.

They started laughed at themselves. But John was only laughing for a second before Wanda put the rag to a deep cut on his arm.

"Jesus Christ!"

xXx

1 Oh how I love those games. I never actually try to beat them, just wait till my brother does it for me and then find new and creative ways to kill myself.

2-In honor of Tommy Lee and Pam Anderson, they supposedly met when Tommy licked her face at a party.

3-The Jim Carry movie ingeniously named 'The Cable Guy'

4-The episode of Seinfeld known as _The Cadillac_

A/N: So that's the first chapter. Up next: a Romy date and Jonda bonding (and a little of the Brotherhood too, cause I love those guys). It might take a while for me to update, I'm trying to prewrite this.


	2. Enemies With Benefits

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. They make me sooo happy (that's how sad my life is).

To **White Orchid**: Mystery Science Theater 3000 fo' Life!

To **Goldylokz**: Lol, that Flesh Eating Mothers sounds better than Reefer Madness

2 – Enemies With Benefits

Rogue stopped by the Acolytes base the next morning and found a certain pyromaniac lying on the couch, every inch of him covered in white bandages. She burst into laughter at the sight.

"Awww, did Pyro's girlfriend beat the shit out of him?" She asked in a fake sympathetic tone. John scowled at her with his arms crossed.

"No," He said matter-of-factly. "The toaster did. And are you calling that psychotic freak my girlfriend?"

"Well every psychotic freak needs love, Johnny, even you." Said Rogue still laughing.

"Hey," Rogue looked up and saw Remy standing on the staircase. He'd jumped out of bed when he heard her voice downstairs.

"Hey," She said back smiling. They were both silent for a second.

John rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, you can cut the sexual tension in here with a knife."

"ahh.. we were gonna go out for lunch, 'member?" Said Rogue smirking at John's comment.

"Oh, right, sorry." Said Remy grabbing his coat.

"Uh, Rems?"

"Oui?" Remy asked.

"Yah wanna put pants on first?" Rogue asked. Remy suddenly remembered what he was wearing, boxers and a wife beater. (1)

"Oh yeah." He spun around and went to run upstairs.

"Hey, Remy?" Said Rogue. Remy turned back around. "Ah love the ducks."

Remy looked down at his boxers. "Yeah? More than the penguins?"

"Nothing tops the penguins."

xXx

Lance Alvers lazily walked into the bathroom on the second floor of Mystique's house. He felt around the sink for his toothbrush, too tired to open his eyes. He found it and shoved it in his mouth, he couldn't stand morning breath.

But the second it touched his tongue, his eyes shot open. He gagged and spit the thing out. It fell into the sink and Lance saw that it was dripping green slime.

"TOAD!"

The green teenager who happened to be hopping by the bathroom at that moment was pummeled to the ground.

"Oh, hey Lance." He greeted the boy who was pinning him to the ground.

"What have I told you about using my toothbrush!?"

"Actually you said nothing about you're toothbrush, but last week you did yell at me for using your hair brush."

"Yeah, cause you gave me fleas!!!"

"I did not!" Toad was deeply offended. "Never in my life have I had fleas! Maybe lice, but fleas!?"

"Argh!" Lance stood up, holding Toad by his collar. "I swear to God, you use any of my toiletries ever again," Lance stopped when Toad burst into laughter. "What!?"

"You said 'toiletries'," Said Toad giggling. Lance rolled his eyes and flung Toad down the hallway into the door of Wanda's room.

The door broke off its hinges and Toad landed on the floor of the goth's room. The room was pitch black except for a couple candles scattered about the floor. On the bed there was a figure sitting Indian style murmuring something. Her eyes shot open.

"Hey, sweetums." Greeted Toad with his yellow smile.

"Argh!" Wanda screeched jumping off the bed. She grabbed Toad by the ankle and dragged him out of her room and threw him on the floor in the hall. "What the hell!?"

"It was Lance's fault." Said Toad quickly.

"I don't care who's fault it was!" Wanda screeched.

"What were doing in there?" Lance asked thoroughly creeped out.

"Meditating." Said Wanda glaring at the mullet king.

"Isn't meditating supposed to be relaxing?"

Wanda clenched her teeth. "Don't I seem relaxed to you?"

"No not really." Said Toad. That got him sent flying down the staircase.

"I have to get out of here!" yelled Wanda storming out the front door. "Don't go in my room!"

xXx

"So where to?" Remy asked as he and Rogue wandered around the streets of Bayville.

Rogue shrugged. "Ah don't care so long as cook's name isn't Cookie."

"Do his views on abortion matter too?" (2) Remy asked sarcastically.

xXx

The locks on the doors to the Acolytes' base were surprisingly easy to pick. Wanda walked in and found the living room empty. It was quiet…too quiet. Just then Wanda heard noise from the kitchen. It sounded like music. She walked over to the door. _Is that Cyndi Lauper? _

She braced herself as she pushed the swinging door, afraid what she might find behind it. It _was_ Cyndi Lauper and in the kitchen dancing, was St. John Allerdyce.

"They just wanna! They just wanna! Girls just wanna have fun!" Sang the Ausie along with the radio as he washed the dishes in the sink.

"What The Fu- started Wanda before John flinched at her voice and practically fell into the sink.

"Wanda!" He said quickly reaching for the volume on the stereo.

"Cyndi Lauper," Said Wanda ready to burst out laughing. "Interesting choice for a dishwashing soundtrack."

John rolled his eyes. "It came on the radio. My hands were all soapy I couldn't change it."

"So you sang and danced to it." Added Wanda.

John rolled his eyes and went back to washing the dishes really not caring what a gothic maniac thought of him. "What are you doing here anyway?" He asked. He could still here Cyndi faintly after he'd turned the volume down and began to mouth the lyrics.

"Do you have any food?" Wanda asked digging through the cupboards.

John washed his hands off and gabbed jar off the counter and presented her with "Authentic Australian Vegemite" He said holding it out to her. Wanda looked at the jar with a disgusted face, then looked up to John.

"You're too Australian for your own good."

"I am not, I don't like AC/DC." Defended John. "but if you're not gonna eat anything, you can go."

"How can you not like AC/DC?" Asked the witch in disbelief.

"Angus Young's little school boy shorts annoy me." Admitted John. "And like I just said-

"I know, I know, I'm going. At least let me get a beer." She walked over to the fridge and grabbed a bottle from the fridge.

"Wait!" Yelled John. "You can't drink that."

"And why is that?" Asked Wanda irritated.

"We need rules."

"Rules?" Wanda asked.

"For when we're around each other, to prevent the other night's… 'occurrences'."

"ah," Wanda put the bottle of beer down on the counter. "Rules."

"Yeah, and I think one of them should be no beer."

"Right." Wanda put the beer back in the fridge and turned back to the Ausie. "What else?"

"At least three feet between us at all times."

"Makes sense." Said Wanda and she took a step back.

"Alright then."

"So now that I can't have beer is their any way for me to kill my boredom around here? I really don't feal like going back to the Brotherhood"

"I was gonna watch a movie."

"Which one?"

"An old cult classic you've probably never heard of."

"Try me."

"Santa Clause Conquers the Martians."

Wanda's eyes shot wide open. "I _LOVE_ that movie!!"

"Seriously?" John asked surprised. Wanda nodded quickly. "Most people find it really stupid."

"But that's why it's awesome!"

"Exactly!"

They both ran out into the living room. John stuck the video in the VCR and hopped on the couch next to Wanda. They looked at each other.

"Rules." They said at the same time before they retreated to opposite sides of the couch.

xXx

Rogue sat across from Remy in a booth in a small diner on the edge of town. Remy looked around the place, at the cracks in the ceiling, the broken jukebox, and the man in the corner who looked to be either dead or passed out.

"Jesus Christ, when was the last time the health inspector stopped by?"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "It's fihne."

"Y'say dat now, Chere, but wait till y'find a cockroach in yah're soup."

Rogue shook her head. "The rats eat the cockroaches."

Remy starred at her scared that she was actually being serious. Rogue rolled her eyes once again.

"Ah was kiddin', Swamprat."

"Dat's not very comforting."

A waitress who's hair was teased to with in an inch of its life strolled over with a pad of paper and asked them what they wanted.

"Ah'll have a BLT with a side of fries." Said Rogue handing her menu to the waitress.

"And you?" The waitress asked the Cajun.

"Would you mind telling me what grade the health inspector gave you?" Asked Remy.

Rogue sighed. "He'll have what Ah'm havin',"

The waitress walked back into the kitchen and Rogue glared Remy from across the table.

"Honestly, why do yah have to be six years old?"

Remy shrugged. "Its more fun."

Rogue rolled her eyes and looked over at the passed out man in the corner wondering how long he'd been there. She glanced back to Remy and found him staring at her.

She sighed. "What?"

"Yah've got really beautiful eyes, Chere." He said from behind his dark sunglasses.

"Yah've already caught meh, Swamprat, yah don't have to keep casting bate."

"Oui, Chere, Remy has caught yah, but he has yet to reel you in."

"Oh? And just what defines 'reeling meh in'?" Rogue asked with an eyebrow cocked.

Remy smirked and winked at her. A quick second later he ducked under the table. Rogue sighed, she didn't have time for this.

"Damn it, Swamprat! Get back up here!" She said blindly kicking around beneath the table. _If he's actually tryin' to 'reel meh in' Ah swear to God- _Rogue froze as she glanced at the front door to the diner and saw just what Remy was hiding from.

"Logan!" She yelped out of surprise to see the man strolling in the front door.

"Hey, Stripes." The six-foot goon greeted as he walked over to the table. "Lunch?"

"Ah, yeah," Said Rogue nervously. If Logan knew who was under the table Remy'd be in six hundred pieces and he'd probably never let Rogue see the light of day again.

_Under the table…_ And it was then that Rogue realized how short her skirt happened to be. She slammed her legs together.

"You like this place? I've never been here." Continued Logan looking around the diner. Rogue shrugged not sure how to handle this situation. "Is that guy alright?" Logan asked spotting the man in the corner.

Rogue shrugged again. "Not sure."

Logan sighed. "Ah whatever, Ah'll just go down to the pub."

"You do that." Said Rogue.

Logan squinted as he sniffed the air. "Do they make gumbo?"

Rogue shrugged. _Crap Crap Crap…_

"Whatever, I'll see you later." Said the Canadian.

"Yeah," Said Rogue as Logan strolled out of the diner. Once he was out the door Rogue let out a breath she'd be holding and Remy crawled back into his seat with a smirk.

Rogue glared at him. "What?"

"Nice panties, Chere. Didn't know yah lihked pink."

xXx

Remy and Rogue walked into the Acolytes base to catch the end of the credits of Santa Clause Conquers the Martians. The living room was empty but the racket that was coming from the kitchen gave them a pretty good indication that Wanda was there.

They sat on the couch and attempted to watch TV while Armageddon occurred in the kitchen.

"Shut the hell up!" Screeched an Australian. There was a crash and he continued with: "Jesus Christ!"

"I swear to god! I'm gonna kill you!" Yelled the Scarlet Witch before they heard more crashing. And after a bit more crashing the Scarlet Witch continued to yell, but something had changed in her tone.

"oh…uh… oh _John!" _This was followed up by a large bit of moaning. Remy and Rogue's eyes met across the couch. They shared the same uneasy expression. After some more moaning they quickly ran up the stairs to the second floor.

xXx

"What the hell was that?" Asked John pulling his pants up.

Wanda shrugged. "I dunno." She said as she buttoned her shirt.

"We didn't drink any beer." Said John still utterly confused.

"I know." Said Wanda as confused as the Ausie.

"One minute you're beating me over the head with a frying pan and the next…"

"I know." Said Wanda.

"I mean… its not that it was bad." Said John hesitantly.

Wanda nodded. "A definite five stars."

"Its just that… I mean we…we shouldn't be…ur we're just not very compatible outside the bedroom." Said John.

"Or the kitchen." Said Wanda.

"Yes, or the kitchen."

"But we _are_ compatible in the kitchen."

John nodded. "Yeah."

"So…" Started Wanda.

"So?"

"So… maybe we could have our time in the kitchen, and our time outside of the kitchen." Said Wanda trying to put it in the right words.

"Like friends with benefits?" John asked.

Wanda shook her head. "More like _enemies _with benefits."

"Do I get dental?"

xXx

1 – Remy gets caught pants-less a lot in this.

2 - In the episode of _Seinfeld, _'The Couch' Elaine refuses to eat at a restaurant because the owner is prolife and then brakes up with her boyfriend because he is prolife.

A/N: I NEED SUGGESTIONS!!! I'm working on this AU fic where Pyro's in a band and I need suggestions for the other members. I need characters for the guitar, bass, and drums. And if you have any ideas for rodies or groupies tell me. (No OC's please.)


	3. Splash

A/N: I know, its been how many months since the last update? But anyway, heres a short little chapter to tide you over while I write up the next few chapters.

So this is just a short Romy chapter, which might be a bit of a tease to some of you, but there'll be plenty of Jonda in chapters to come including drunken Acolytes and Monty Python.

3 - Splash

Two mutants sat very uncomfortably on the couch in the living room of Magneto's old base attempting to watch TV. Once again Wanda had found something about John that was punishable by throwing random objects at him, though this was luckily occurring on the floor above. The skunk headed mutant turned to the Cajun with a confused expression.

"So Wanda and John are sleeping together?" She asked with the same disgusted expression she'd made the time Kurt had shoved a strand of spaghetti up his nose in the hopes of pulling it out through his mouth, only to be rushed to the hospital and have doctors go up his nose with sharp instruments to retrieve the strand that was lodged so far up his nasal passage he'd passed out. (Think that's a run-on?)

Remy just nodded with the same disgusted look on his face but no words.

"But Ah thought they hated each other." Continued Rogue still completely bewildered.

"Don't bother Remy with the marvels of the universe. Ah have no idea how the Egyptians pulled off the pyramids, Ah had nothing to do with the crop circles, and John and Wanda are a mystery to meh. Now can yah please turn the volume on the TV up?"

"Those two have gotta have the roughest sex in the world." Said Rogue as she reached for the remote.

Remy winced. "Just got a really disgusting mental image."

"Is sex _all_ yah think about, Swamprat?" Scolded Rogue.

"_Non"_ Said Remy, matter-o-factly. "Dis morning Remy gave a lot of thought to how ink comes out of pens."

"Why did Ah agree t' this relationship again?" Rogue thought out loud after Remy's last comment.

"Cause Remy's adorable,"

"Adorable and Idiotic are two very different words. Ah suggest ya take a look at that dictionary Wanda was throwin' around the other day."

"Can't. John set it on fire this mornin', something about American English being a bastardization of the language."

"Has he ever heard himself talk?"

Remy just shrugged. "But are we really gonna sit around all day listening to Sid and Nancy kill each other?"

Rogue wiggled in her seat uncomfortably. "Ah dunno, what would we do?"

"What do yah mean 'what would we do', anything but sit around here."

"Well after yesterday Ah don't think that'ld be real safe." Said Rogue hesitantly.

"Yesterday? Yah mean running into Wolvie and moi getting to third base?"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Yes to the first part."

"Well fine we'll go some place where we won't run into anybody," Said Remy just trying to get her off the couch, though he didn't over look the fact that it didn't seem like she wanted to be seen with him in public.

"Lihke where?" Asked Rogue.

Remy grabbed her gloved hand and yanked at it. "Come." He ordered before dragging her out of the house.

xXx

"Ah'm impressed, Cajun, thirty minutes and you've already gotten us lost in the middle of the woods." Commented Rogue as the two trudged through what, to Rogue, might as well have been the Amazon.

"We're not lost, and besides it's the arboretum not the woods." Muttered Remy and continued on his way with a firm grip on Rogue's hand. She'd been complaining since they left the house and he didn't feel like putting any effort into bickering with her, though he did find it kind of cute.

Remy dragged Rogue on for another ten minutes before they reached a wooden bridge that led across a small pond.

"Hey look, a sign of civilization," Said Rogue happily. Remy stopped to catch his breath for a moment while Rogue crept up to the bridge. She cautiously placed one foot on it.

"What are yah doing?" Remy asked observing her.

"Making sure it doesn't collapse on us." She said listening for and creaks.

The Cajun rolled his eyes and walked out to the middle of the bridge and sat down. Rogue hesitantly followed him and sat down beside him. Remy pulled out a cigarette and put it between his lips before having it yanked away.

"Don't smoke." Said Rogue snapping it in half and dropping it into the water.

"Why not?" Asked Remy.

"Oh Ah dunno," Started Rogue sarcastically. "the fact that it causes cancer, and more importantly makes you smell lihke an ashtray."

"Remy smells manly,"

"No yah smell lihke an ashtray mixed with gumbo and what ever the crap is that you put in yahr hair."

Remy nodded in agreement. "_Manly_"

Rogue rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Cajun."

"Aw, c'mon, Chere, yah know Remy's aroma gets yah horny." He said with a sly smirk before singing the chorus line of the Divinyls' "I Touch Myself".

Rogue shoved a gloved hand in his face putting an end to his performance. Remy snatched the hand and planted a chivalrous kiss on the back of her palm and made his way up her arm, thankful she'd worn her longer gloves. She wasn't as quick to pull away as he expected.

"Tryin' to reel meh in again?" Rogue asked still with an outstretched arm. Remy just looked up at her and winked. By now he was past her shoulder and breathing on her neck. He looked up into her eyes. Rogue was stiff, fully aware that if she made the slightest movement he'd be in a coma. Remy inched closer to Rogue till they were barely a centimeter apart. Rogue's lips parted. So did Remy's.

A loud creak emitted from the bridge. Their eyes darted from each other's and down but not before the entire structure went plummeting down beneath them.

_Splash_

xXx

Two fully clothed and soaking wet mutants were met with stares as the exited the arboretum. Rogue turned to Remy.

"Ah should get back, Logan thinks Ah'm at the library."

Remy smirked. "Do yah usually return from the library soaked?"

Rogue didn't respond but began ringing out her t-shirt. She looked up at Remy, who was watching her do this (mostly because in doing this she exposed her bare midriff). She smirked and put a hand over his mouth and kissed it.

"See yah later, Swamprat." She said before turning and walking away, leaving behind a trail of wet footprints.

xXx

Remy returned to the Acolyte hide out and passed the two psychopaths who were waging war in the living room.

"Ah need sex," He muttered as he made his way the stairs in search of his playboys.

xXx

Rogue collapsed on her bed after explaining to Logan that there had been a flash downpour as she was exiting the library.

"Ah need sex,"

xXx


	4. Those are strings, Pinocchio

A/N: Took me long enough, I know. But I'm going to try and start making this whole updating with in six months thing a habit. Enjoy.

**Gambit-Rogue**: Here are a couple of clarifications:

Tylenol – a popular over-the-counter painkiller, I heard somewhere it was only sold in America.

Windex – a cleaning fluid used on glass surfaces (I would not recommend drinking any.)

AC/DC – a 1970's Australian classic rock band, Angus Young was the guitarist

Arboretum – a public park with lots of trees

4 – Those are strings, Pinocchio (1)

Logan scowled as the shrill scream of the telephone echoed through the halls of the institute over and over. After about five minutes of incessant ringing he picked it up and growled a greeting into the receiver.

"Oh..HELLO!" Said what sounded like an elderly woman with bronchitis. "I'm, uh, Mrs. …Peterson."

"Who?" Asked the confused Canadian.

"Mrs. Peterson, from Bayville high. I'm Rogue's guidance councilor."

"What did she flunk a quiz or something?" Asked Logan.

"Oh, no, no, nothing like that, I was just calling to chat."

"Chat?" Asked Logan suspiciously.

"Yeah you know, girl talk. Talk about menstrual cycles and what not."

"Alright." Said Logan unsure why Rogue would be chatting about menstrual cycles with her elderly guidance councilor who had a terrible case of bronchitis. But he brought the phone to her anyway. He knocked on the door to the room that was blasting Rage Against the Machine. "Uh, Rogue?"

The door opened quickly and there stood the Goth. "Yeah?" She asked slightly annoyed. People should've known better than to disturb her during her Rage time.

"A Mrs. Peterson is on the phone for you to talk about menstrual cycles." Said the Canadian.

"Who?" asked Rogue.

Logan shrugged. "I dunno, says she's your guidance councilor."

"Oh!" Said Rogue quickly. "Mrs. Peterson!" She snatched the phone from Logan and disappeared back into her room. "Y'know, yah should really try to stick to one alias, Cajun." She said to 'Mrs. Peterson'.

Remy sighed into the receiver. "Oui, Ah know, but when Wolvie answers the phone Ah freeze, Ah can never remember that Ah'm Anton Schmidt, an exchange student from Berlin who forgot his Chemistry homework."

"That's why yah need to write things down."

"Did Ah disturb you during your Rage time?" Remy asked noting the music he could hear in the background.

Rogue reached over to her stereo and turned the volume down. "Eh, Its alright if _you _disturb meh."

"awwww" Said Remy mockingly.

"And did Logan say something about menstrual cycles?"

"uhh…" Said the Cajun.

"Is that really what you think girls talk about?"

"uhh…"

"You do, don't you. You think we sit around at sleepovers and talk about tampon brands."

"Well, _yeah_, after the lingerie pillow fight."

"Yah're an idiot."

"And _you're _mad dat Ah interrupted yah're Rage time."

Rogue sighed. "No, just remember its Fridays at four thirty, and write it down next to Anton Schmidt."

"Am doing."

"So yah called."

"Oui."

"Was there a reason?" Rogue asked.

"Um.." Thought Remy. "Ah think so."

"Do yah _remember_ the reason?"

"……..non."

Rolled her eyes. "Well tell me tomorrow."

"Yah coming over?"

"Yup."

"See yah then."

"Kay, bye."

Rogue clicked the 'off' button on the phone and turned Rage back up. Kitty, who was sitting on her bed reading Teen Vogue, looked up.

"Who's Mrs. Peterson?"

xXx

"Argh!" Screeched the witch at the top of her lungs. "Just get out!!!" John was then hurtled from the room and straight into the adjacent wall.

"But it's _my_ room!" He yelled back from the floor.

Wanda sighed and rolled her eyes. "Fine, you Australian waste of space!" Wanda shrieked before she stomped over his bruised body and down the hall.

John took a moment to catch his breath and make sure all his body parts were in place before crawling back into the sty that he called home.

Wanda was fuming. The pictures flew off the walls as she stomped down the stairs. She stormed into the living room. A lamp flew off an end table and went straight at the front door, which happened to be wide open.

The southern belle who was in the process of entering the building hit the floor in order to avoid collision.

"Jesus, Wanda, Ah'm tryin' ta walk here." Rogue said still on the floor.

"Argh!" Wanda buried her face in her hands and flopped down on the couch.

"Let meh guess.. John?" Rogue asked kicking her shoes off and throwing her jacket on a chair beside the door.

"How'd yah guess?" Asked Wanda sarcastically, finally calm enough to form words.

Rogue smirked. "Its takes a true _genius _to piss anyone off this much. Plus Ah could hear yah two from a block away."

"You'd think he'd learn to just shut up." Started Wanda. "But no, he just keeps talking and talking and spewing out all this idiotic dribble. I swear to God I could have a more intelligent conversation with a monkey."

Rogue sat in a chair a few feet from the couch; she didn't want to be with in arms length from Wanda at the moment. "Ah'm not sure Ah get this relationship."

"Its not really a relationship." Said Wanda. "Its more like –

"Random sex and ass beatings?" Rogue asked.

Wanda sighed. "The ass beating aren't scheduled, John's just retarded."

"But don't yah think its kinda meaningless to just have sex with some one you can't stand?"

Wanda sighed. "I can stand him… sometimes."

Just then a red-eyed Cajun came hopping down the stairs.

"Hey, Mrs. Peterson." Greeted Rogue. Remy gave her a sarcastic smirk and then turned to Wanda.

"Do you know where the mop is?"

"Why?" Wanda asked rubbing her temples.

"John left a trail o' blood through the hallway."

Wanda growled "That IDIOT!" and stomped up the stairs.

With the angry bitch out of the room Remy casually slinked over to Rogue. She looked up at him from her seated position.

"So yah wanna have a pillow fight in our panties?"

Remy took a moment to visualize that before retorting.

"No. Ah have cramps." He said matter-o-factly.

xXx

Wanda sat on the sink counter in the bathroom after mopping up the stream of blood that John had left in the hallway. Of course by the time she got to it much of the blood had sunk into the wood so there now was a permanent burgundy stain, though it matched well with the coffee stain that had somehow found its way to the ceiling.

She slowly removed the three-inch thick rubber gloves she'd worn for the job along with the surgeon's mask and tossed them into the trash that was filled to the brim with blood stained tissues and used condoms.

There was a passing thought in the witch's head of what hilarious mayhem might ensue if the acolyte boys bothered to hire a cleaning lady, but then of course that would interfere with the bet she had with Remy of how long it would take the city to condemn the building.

This was interrupted by a bruised and battered figure appearing in the doorway. John struck a pose straight out of Playgirl magazine, which unfortunately was ruined by his greenish blue cheekbone and the tissue shoved up his left nostril to stop the flow of blood.

" 'ello, Love" He greeted in a husky voice. It'd been a good half an hour since their last brawl so his libido had re-awoken and he figured Wanda had had time enough to take her anger out on the other residents of the base.

Wanda rolled her eyes and hopped off the counter.

"Spare me your pathetic attempt at foreplay." She said grabbing his collar and dragging him back into his sty.

xXx

Wanda lay in John's decrepit bed wondering when was the last he washed his sheets. The Australian was snoring beside her. She felt thoroughly disgusting. John rolled over toward her so that they were less than a centimeter apart and his open snoring mouth was blowing his rancid breath allover her face. Wanda grimaced and nudged him away from her till there was a thud and he was snoring on the floor. She sighed.

"Damn it, Rogue"

xXx

"That's disgusting," Said the Rogue as she dug through the cabinets in the kitchen after having found nothing but beer and what looked cheese in the refrigerator.

"What Chere?" Remy asked.

Rogue gave Remy a blank stare. She had been referring to his last comment. "Mayonnaise on a french-fry? That's an abomination."

"You're a very close-minded person, Chere." Said Remy watching her struggle to find something edible with in the house.

Rogue rolled her eyes, though her back was turned to him. "Mah sincerest apologies to the people of Holland. But if Ah ever go there, remind meh to bring mah own bottle of Heinz." (2)

The door to the kitchen swung open and Wanda trudged in. She looked from the Remy to Rogue, grabbed Rogue by the arm, and dragged her out of the room.

"What is it Wanda?" Rogue asked after Wanda had dragged her into a back hallway.

"You ruined sex for me."

"What?" Asked Rogue bewildered.

"You said all the crap about sex with someone you hate, and now, It's ruined. You couldn't just leave it alone; let me have sex with out any strings attached, but no you had to connect all this guilt to it."

"What guilt?" Asked Rogue still completely confused. "All I did was express my opinion, you didn't have to take it to heart."

Wanda sighed and crossed her arms. "Well how are you going to fix this?"

xXx

After five minutes of Remy intently trying to eavesdrop on the conversation from the kitchen Rogue returned with a smirk on her face.

"What?" Asked Remy fearing the worst.

"We're going on a date."

xXx

1– title stolen from Gilmore Girls

2– Any Quentin Tarantino fans might have recognized the mayonnaise-on-french-fries conversation from Pulp Fiction. Those are the best parts of his movies, the weird conversations, like the "Like a Virgin" discussion in Reservoir Dogs.

A/N: Up next 'Montey Python and the HOLY SHIT!'

I'm seriously considering hiking up the rating on this, between all the sex, swearing, and all around depravity there isn't much room left for any morals or decency, not that I care about any of that crap, but Tipper Gore might take me to court.


	5. Monety Python and the HOLY SHIT!

A/N: Yes I know, I suck at updating. Bust here it is, the fifth chapter of Ever Fallen In Love?. I don't have much to say but to **look in the M section for the next chapter**, not that it will be especially dirty, its just that I think the story as a whole is a bit too racy for a T rating.

5 – Montey Python and the HOLY SHIT!

"This is a bar." Said Rogue with her hands on her hips to her date who had been in charge of picking the venue.

"Oui." Said Remy to her statement of the obvious as the two stood outside of The Red Boot Pub.

"They serve alcohol, which means Ah can't go in." Said Rogue still with her hands firmly on her hips.

"Non," Disagreed Remy. "They serve alcohol, which means dere might be a prayer Remy'll survive this night."

Rogue sighed guiltily; it was her fault they were in this situation. "Fihne. Now where'd Sid and Nancy go?" She said scanning the block for the ausie and witch.

Halfway down the block Wanda was shaking the trunk of a tree screaming at what appeared to be its leaves.

"Get outta there you idiot!"

Then from inside the leaves a voice emerged.

"No! That squirrel is gonna get it!"

Rogue and Remy walked over to Wanda and her tree.

"uh, Wanda?" Rogue asked.

"What!?" Wanda snapped.

"What are you doing?"

"Trying to John outta the tree."

"Why's he in the tree?" Rogue said calmly, trying to keep Wanda calm.

"HE'S A FUC- Wanda stopped and took a deep breath, remembering why they were there. "I don't know a squirrel dropped an acorn on his head, and he's being stupid and taking his anger out on the poor defenseless animal."

"More like the poor defenseless animal's takin' its anger out on _him,_" Said Remy looking up into the tree. The two girls looked up to see a blond ausie being mauled by a 16-ounce squirrel and to hear a loud crack.

The three on the ground grimaced. "Holy-

"SHIT!" Screeched Pyro as he plummeted to the ground in front of the three.

xXx

After a quick trip the emergency room and a few rabbies shots, which in the acolyte home were now routine, the four mutants headed back the Red Boot Pub.

"Wow, John, I'm impressed." Said Wanda. "It hasn't been an hour and you're already drunk of your ass. How _do _you do it?"

John lay back in the booth, kicked his feet up on the table and put on a thoughtful expression.

"Now, ladies," He addressed the Goths. "You must understand, it takes real perseverance to achieve such a goal."

"And a funnel" Added an equally intoxicated Remy who was hunched in the corner of the booth.

"Now come, Love" Pyro held out a hand to Wanda. "We shall dance."

Wanda starred at him blankly.

Unfazed by this rejection, John turned and grabbed Remy's hand. Remy followed him limply and the two began to waltz around the bar.

Wanda buried her face in her hands.

"What the hell was I thinking?" She muttered.

"It's not that bad, John and Remy seem to be having a good time." Said Rogue as John and Remy twirled around the room lost in each other's eyes. Wanda turned her head to glare at Rogue.

"Did yah really expect to some how bond with John?" Rogue continued.

"I don't know, I didn't think he'd be his flamboyant self out in public." Said the witch with a sigh. The two drunken lovers hovered over to the table, still waltzing to the metal being blasted on the stereo.

"Chere, yah haven't touched your drink." Was more or less what Remy meant to say as he slurred out a couple syllables to his date.

"Don't we need a designated driver?" John asked as Remy dipped him.

"We took the bus, dumbass." Muttered Wanda.

"We should have designated navigators though." Said Rogue. "Ah'd rather not have your bodies winding up in dark alley somewhere."

John and Remy parted and flopped back down in the booth.

"True," Said Remy. "But sobriety is boring." He then turned to Ausie. "So, John-boy, how shall we entertain ourselves?"

John stroked an imaginary beard for a moment then spoke. "I'm thinking… possibly…a reenactment?"

"Dramatic or comedic?"

"I'm feeling comedic."

"So you wanna be Blanche and Ah'll be Rose?"

"Oh _God_, not Golden Girls again, do you remember what happened last time? I couldn't sit down for a week… no I'm thinking more along the lines of… Monty Python and the Holy Grail."

"Oh god" Moaned Wanda in anticipation.

Remy immediately jumped up on the table and began yelling in a British accent. "A swallow carrying a coconut!?"

The two continued with their fun while Wnada banged her head against the tabletop. Not much later John was yelling "Ni!" at Remy, who seemed to take offense to the word seeing as he was huddled up on the floor in the feeble position.

It took a few more Ni's for Wanda crack. Suddenly a look of pure blind rage washed over the witch's face. She reached up and grabbed the collar of John's shirt and yanked him off the table.

Wanda, Love, we're right in the middle of a scene!" The Ausie complained. Wanda turned to look at John with death in her eyes.

"OK!" Said Rogue jumping up from her seat with an uneasy smile. "Ah think maybeh y'all have had enough for tonight, now let's get outta here before Wanda has an aneurysm." She hopped over to Remy who was lying on the floor still. When she attempted to get him up he merely grunted and rolled over.

Wanda had little trouble. She continued on her way towards the door with John in tow.

"Oi! Let's sing the lumberjack song!" He yelled across the room to Remy. "I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok! I sleep all night and I work all day!" A swift kick to the stomach shut him up.

Rogue continued to heave Remy out the front door after Wanda and John. She stopped on the sidewalk outside to catch her breath. The second she let go of his wrist Remy leapt to his feet.

"Ah want ice cream!" He proclaimed before running off down the street. Rogue groaned and went after him.

John was still suffering from having the wind knocked out of him but his ears had perked up a bit at the mention of ice cream. Wanda glared at him.

"Move and die."

xXx

Somewhere a block away Rogue was cursing under breath as she sprinted after Remy, she was not wearing the bra for this. She reached down to adjust the wire, as it was riding up, only to look up a second later find an empty street, absent of any hyperactive drunken Cajuns.

"Rembrandt Jean Lebeau! Yah get yah're ass out here right now!" She screeched as she began ducking to check under every parked car and checking every alley.

Not far ahead red eyes lit up the darkness behind an SUV.

Rogue ambled cautiously through the dark. Suddenly two rough hands grabbed her shoulders from behind.

"WI! Piggy back!" Squealed Remy as he attempted straddle Rogue. Rogue, caught by surprise, fell flat on the ground under his weight.

"ugh! Damnit Cajun!"

Still sitting on her back Remy bent over to kiss Rogue's head.

"Oui, mon amour?" He asked innocently.

Rogue reached back and grabbed Remy's face to push him off of her. He wiggled; trying to remove her hand and fell over on his side in the process. Rogue sat up and brushed some dirt off of her and the looked over at Remy. He looked up at her innocently, fluttered his eyelashes and then reached over and grabbed a dandelion that had been growing out of a crack in the sidewalk, offering it up as token of peace. Rogue smirked and took the flower. She stood up and offered a hand to Remy.

"C'mon, get up."

Remy grumbled a little but got up, stumbled a little, and was caught by Rogue whole led him back to Wanda and an injured John and the four stumbled back to the Acolyte home.

xXx

After reaching the Alcolyte's home Wanda set John down on the couch while Rogue lugged Remy up the stairs. Wanda collapsed in a chair and looked over to find John smirking at her.

"Shouldn't you be puking your brains out or something?" She asked bitterly.

"I have a high tolerance for alcohol." He said before spouting off the alphabet backwards.

"You're sober!?" Wanda asked sitting up straight in her seat, a scowl only beginning to form." The smirk on John's face grew a little. "Why the hell did I just carry you ten blocks!?"

"I just about to ask you the same question."

Steam was bursting from Wanda's ears. She hopped up from her seat and pounced at John, who squealed and jetted off across the room. Books began flying off shelves in his direction.

A copy of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire flew through the air and nailed him in the back of the head. He hit the ground with a thud. Wanda stomped over to him and glowered down at him.

She pulled a fist back ready to release it when she was interrupted by her victim.

"I don't get why you're so mad at me." John started, only moderately terrifies of the fist hovering in the air. "You can't say that you weren't at least _mildly_ amused by the evening."

Wanda stopped, she smallest smile could be seen at the corner of her mouth.

"I can't believe you reenacted The Holy Grail in a crowed bar…and you were sober."

xXx

After overcoming the difficulty of carrying a nearly passed out Remy up a set stairs, Rogue dropped him on his bed. She had just turned to leave when a hand grabbed her wrist and yanked her back onto the bed, on top of Remy.

"Stay," Remy muttered, his eyes still shut. Rogue fidgeted in his arms.

"I can't," She said trying to wiggle out of his grip. He looked up at her with lusty red eyes and pulled her in closer. "Remy, stop." She said pushing him away. "Ah'm gonna hurt you."

"Ah don't care."

Rogue finally wiggled completely of his arms and looked at him. "Ah do." They stared at each other for a second before Rogue stood up and marched out of the room. She jogged down the stairs and out the door, past two naked mutants rolling around naked on the floor of the living room.

A/N: To any readers, who have not scene the cultural gem that is _Montey Python and the Holy Grail_, get you ass to Blockbuster, or Broadway for the musical version _Spamalot._

**Once again** **the story will be found under M after the next chapter update.**


	6. When I Think About You

A/N: Happy New Year! Yeah, I know, another reeeaaaly late update, but how bout I make it up to yah with a long chapter?

Chapter 6 - When I think about you…

xXx

Wanda woke to the glare of the rising sun piercing her eyes. She stood up, a little disoriented, and then felt the cold on her body. It was a weird feeling to be standing in the middle of a living room wearing nothing but combat boots. She immediately snatched the closest fabric near to her, John's Ninja Turtles t-shirt, which had been ripped sometime during the previous nights "events".

She looked over at the Australian who was lying on the couch, butt naked, cuddling with a throw pillow and snoring loudly with his mouth hanging open. For a split second Wanda found the sight adorable, before shuttering at the fact that that thought had even entered her mind.

Of course, she thought, she might as well snap a Polaroid incase she needed to blackmail him in the future.

The flash made John fidget a little in his sleep. Wanda then found her clothing, which was strewn around the room, dressed, and left. Though she stowed the Ninja Turtles t-shirt in her bag after catching sight of herself in a mirror and seeing what is did for her chest.

xXx

Sunday morning was probably the only time when the mansion wasn't in total disarray and a person could sleep without being disturbed by crashes and explosions occurring behind their door. Of course Rogue had to wake to Kitty gossiping over the phone.

"No! Did she really say that!?" yelled Kitty excitedly into the receiver.

Rogue moaned and rolled over beneath the blankets. She had to get up. She had some research project in history due the next day. She'd been a little distracted the past few days and hadn't started yet. She thought briefly of Remy but it only made her head hurt so she decided instead to focus on "The Effects of the Collapse of the Roman Empire on the Ancient World" for the rest of the day.

She grabbed her book bag and slice of toast and headed out the door.

"Hey, Stripes, yah need a ride somewhere?" Asked Logan from behind _The New York Times_ as Rogue swung the front door to the mansion open.

"No, just going to the library. I can take the bus."

"Sure?" Logan asked as their eyes met.

"Yeah." Said Rogue before continuing out the door. Logan's coddling was getting a little annoying. She was going to graduate in a couple of months and didn't feel as if she needed someone standing over her shoulder constantly like Logan would, no doubt, like to do.

xXx

Remy woke with a horrible migraine. He rolled over in his bed and looked at the right side of the bed, which was still made but had been ruffled a little from when Rogue had lain there the night before. He looked away from it and got out of bed. On his way to the kitchen he passed John, still huddled up on the couch and made a mental note to have the couch cleaned.

Remy was digging thought cabinet for the Tylenol, the must have run out, when John walked in, dressed up to the waist.

"You seen my Ninja Turtles T?"

"Non" Muttered Remy desperately rummaging for some form of painkiller.

"What ever happened with Rogue last night?" John asked checking beneath the kitchen table.

Remy winced with his back to John but then shrugged and said: "She left." He finally gave up on pills and found some peas in the freezer that would suffice.

"You seen Wanda?"

"Non," Remy muttered and then retreated back to his bedroom.

xXx

The brotherhood house was in its usual state of disrepair this Sunday morning as John walked up the sidewalk to it. One of the windows had been shattered and a television was lying on the lawn in front of it. Objects (or living beings) being thrown from windows was always proof Wanda had spent some time in a building.

John navigated his way up the front path, which was strewn with broken glass, litter, and several smashed up copies of different Pearl Jam albums. He hopped up the front steps and found the front door slightly ajar. He pushed it further open with his index finger and poked his head into the foyer.

"What the fuck!" yelled a voice from the living room. "Where are my Pearl Jam CD's!?"

A green boy was hopping around on the countertops in the kitchen and then the earth began to shake. John looked up to see Blob bounding down the stairs. The chandelier that dangled from the ceiling above John shook so vigorously he was sure was going come hurtling down on top of him.

"What are you so chipper about?" Lance asked Blob who had ran right past John, the smile on his face had obstructed his vision enough for him to not even see John.

"Jean's gonna tutor me in calculus!" The giant announced.

"Do you even take that class?" Asked lance as he rummaged through the CD rack.

"No, but she doesn't know that."

Lance sighed. "Damn it, Wanda! Did you touch my Pearl Jam CD's!?" He yelled.

Another voice yelled down from the second floor.

"Eddie Vedder's voice makes me wanna punch a baby!" (1) Yelled the witch before starting to descend the stairs. "I swear to god if I had to listen to 'Jeremy' one more time I was gonna go insane."

"But it's the greatest song ever written!"

Wanda didn't respond. She had stopped in the middle of the stairs.

"Hi." She greeted the Australian at the door.

"All we've got for food back at the base is beer and vegemite. And breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so…" The Australian turned and marched into the kitchen. Wanda followed him with her eyes.

xXx

Rogue was staring at a book that was as thick as it was wide. Her eyes were moving over the words, but weren't registering any meaning. Her thoughts floated around aimlessly. She bit her lip as her unfocused eyes drifted off the page and around the musty library she sat in.

It was twenty old guys reading newspapers, a gothic teenage mutant hunched over book which could have easily chronicled human history in great detail, and, striding towards the girl, was a man in his early twenties who had the sixty-three year old librarian craning her neck to get a second look.

Rogue's eyes met the fuzzy six-foot figure. She blinked and her eyes focused.

"You stalkin meh o' somethin'?" She asked the Cajun, who's smirk looked a little forced.

"Soul mates never have trouble findin' eachot'er"

There was a 'Shush' from the librarian on the other side of the room. Both southerners ignored her.

Rogue stared for half a second, before blinking awkwardly and looking back down at the book. Remy drew a chair from another table and sat opposite Rogue.

"Homework?" He asked looking at the thousand-page doorstop. Rogue simply nodded.

"Rogue…" Sighed Remy. Rogue quickly interrupted.

"Research essay actually, worth thirty percent o' mah grade."

Remy shut his mouth and sat back in his chair. Rogue looked back down at the book and pretending to be picking up where she had left off but found it hard to focus with his eyes on her. She sighed.

"You know Ah really have a lot to do-

"Ah need to talk to yah."

Rogue held her forehead in her hand. "Remy.."

"Yah can't not tell meh what the limits are and den be pissed when Ah cross 'em."

Rogue cringed. "Can we not talk about this rihght now?"

"Please just talk to meh, Rogue."

"Really Remy, just leave meh alone, right now."

"Why are you being so difficult?" Demanded Remy. Rogue sighed and shut the colossal book. She was getting tired of breathing so heavily. "Just tell me what yah want."

"Ah don't know what Ah want!"

"Shush!" said the librarian a bit more violently this time.

"Oh, go fuck yahself!" Snapped Rogue at the woman.

Remy almost flinched at Rogue's reaction and quickly got up and gabbed her by the arm, dragging her out the room.

"Let go o' meh, Cajun!"

"What's wrong with you?" Remy asked after they had reached a back hallway.

Rogue yanked her arms from his grasp. "Can yah just leave meh alone, Ah really have to write this paper."

"Please talk to meh!" Begged Remy. Rogue made to leave but Remy jumped in front of her. "I ask what you want, you say you don't know, what does that mean?"

Rogue sighed for the umpteenth time and leaned back against the wall. Seeing Remy was like a punch in the face.

When Rogue didn't respond, Remy continued. "You know Ah'm fihne wit waiting."

"It didn't seem that way last night." Muttered Rogue, staring at the wall.

"Ah was drunk,"

"There's truth in whine." (2)

Remy lowered his head to meet Rogue's eyes. There was the smallest bit of moisture collecting in them. "rogue.."

She couldn't really be mad at him. The tears had nothing to do with what he'd done. It was just the fact of his existence. She had been fine with her isolation when she didn't have someone dangling themselves in front of her. Remy stirred up feelings she'd never be able to satisfy. Why couldn't he just let it be. It would be nobler of him to leave her, rather torture her with her own frustration and the guilt being able to give him nothing.

"Please.." The breaking of silence made Rogue glance into his eyes which were bearing into her own.

"Ah…don't know." She said looking away. "Ah need tihme to…sort stuff out."

"Ok" Said Remy almost silently. They stood in silence for a moment. "Ah'll leave yah to finish your work." Remy muttered before turning to leave.

"mm, Wait," Said Rogue wiping her forehead. "Can Ah bum a rihde home?"

xXx

Wanda was standing in the kitchen doorway of Mystique's house staring at a flame-haired Australian cooking eggs and dancing to the Devinyls "I touch myself."

"…I love myself, I want you to love me…"

"What's it with you and eighties female pop stars?"

John shrugged and flipped the eggs in the frying pan. "I just like songs about a masturbation." (3) John went into the cabinet and pulled out two plates. "..When I feel down, I want you above me…"

Lance stormed into the kitchen. "Wanda! What did you do with them!?" He demanded, referring to the conversation that had been interrupted by the arsonist's arrival.

Wanda looked at the fuming gen-x-wanna-be with little interest. "I disposed of them,"

"What the fuck! Those were mine! What the hell did you do with them!"

John had reached the chorus. "..When I think about you, I touch myself.."

Wanda's attention returned to her chef. "Hey, John, what do you think of Pearl Jam?"

John paused his singing and looked back at the two. "Oh its like the murder of hour old puppies."

Wanda smirked, vindicated. "See, I was doing the world a service in their destruction."

Lance fumed and opened his mouth to yell. But once Wanda's hand glowed blue his jaw snapped shut and he backed out of the room.

Wanda looked back to the Ausie who sitting at the kitchen table. Wanda, being very hungry decided some eggs couldn't hurt, besides she'd probably contracted all of John's cooties already.

She sat down across from him and was about to dig in when John pulled a jar from his jacket pocket. Wanda cringed.

"oh, don't tell me…"

"Can't have eggs without vegemite!" He said before dumping the contents of the jar all over his eggs. The mere sight of the substance caused Wanda to loose her appetite. She shoved her plate to the center of the table..

"There's no way I can eat in the presence of that crap."

John smirked. "What? You mean this?" He asked shoving a fork full of vegemite-covered eggs in her face. Wanda yanked her face away and faked a dry heave over the edge of the table.

John ignored her response and happily shoveled his concoction into his mouth, while Wanda grimaced, horrified at the spectacle.

"Do you have any idea how disgusting that is?"

"More than you, you won't even try it."

"Well I try not to put anything in my mouth that could probably burn a hole in floor."

Freddy poked his head in the doorway, with his nose high in the air.

"Eggs?" He asked in a curious tone.

"Have'em," Said Wanda, offering up her unwanted breakfast. Freddy shot over to the table and snatched the plate and scarfed down the eggs.

Wanda noticed John looking at her. "What?" She asked.

"You got any movies?" He asked finishing the last of his eggs. "'The Green Slime', 'Gamera', maybe 'Pod People'?" (4)

xXx

An hour and a half later the two psychos were falling off the couch in laughter and yelling "Huzzah!". (Funny if you've seen Pod People)

Having spent all his money on CD's that Wanda destroyed, Lance was forced to download eight albums worth of songs off of LimeWire. (A/N: I don't know anyone who downloads legally.) He sat at the computer staring at the stationary download bar while the other two cackled across the room. This of course was a day when the WiFi they were stealing form the neighbors decided it didn't want to work.

At the foot of the couch Wanda was lying on her back looking up at John who was saying something about renaissance fairs in between bursts of laughter. Her own laughter had died and she felt the kind of satisfaction one can only have when you laugh so hard you're sure you're going to suffocate.

John finished a sentence Wanda hadn't been listening to and looked down at her for a response. She smirked and he was glad to know he was amusing. He sunk down to the floor next to her. The remote was an inch from his hand but he let the credits run.

Still staring at him, Wanda felt that feeling in her stomach again. The one that had nothing to do with alcohol or boredom.

"How come sometimes you hate me and other times you're like this?"

Wanda blinked, her mind had been very far away and it was only now that realized the only sound in the room was the faint music on the television and Lance vigorously typing in song titles. After registering what John had said she shrugged.

"Dunno, I haven't taken my medication in a while," It was the truth but it wasn't like the colorful pills had ever done much for her.

John rolled his eyes at her response. "You're no crazy, believe me I know crazy."

It was the thing that Wanda had been insisting to everyone she knew for years and it was a little strange to hear it come out of John's mouth. But he _defiantly _did know crazy.

"You ever think you're what causes my rage?"

John looked at her with a cocked eyebrow. "And what? When ever I'm not around you're a perfect angel?"

Wanda smirked and peered at Lance across the room and then looked back at John.

"Y'know, he's got some Tool CD's upstairs…"

xXx

Remy mounted his motorcycle and handed his helmet to Rogue. Rogue stood awkwardly beside the bike.

"Remy?" He looked up at her. "Ah'm not mad at yah."

He nodded. "Ah know."

Rogue was about to put the helmet on when a bulky figure stormed past and caused her to loose her balance. When she looked up Remy was pinned to a tree by two adamantium claws.

Logan growled, sheer rage was preventing him from forming any words. Rogue leapt up from the ground.

"Logan!" She said in almost a scolding tone.

"What's Magneto got you doin' now?!" Logan ignored Rogue. A snarl was stuck on his face.

Remy stared at the gap between Logan's middle and rind fingers from which the third claw had yet to emerge. Logan grabbed Remy's collar and jerked him once.

"Huh!? Where's Magneto hiding?"

"Yah think Remy knows any more dan you? As far as Ah'm concerned dat sentinel blew'm up."

Logan's grip only tightened. He growled. "I swear to god you're gonna be in so any pieces-

"Logan!" Rogue interrupted, yanking at Logan's shoulder. He turned his head to her. "Let him go." She said sternly.

Logan narrowed his eyes. "Rogue? How can you trust this guy? He worked for magneto."

"Exactly, he _used _to work for Magneto. He can't redeem himself if you don't give him a chance."

Logan glared at Remy for another moment before retracting his claws and dropping him. Logan then swiftly turned around, grabbed Rogue by the arm and went marching off. Rogue glanced back at Remy who was sitting at the base of the tree. Their eyes met for a moment before Logan nudged her and she spun back around.

xXx

Wanda's combat boot clad feet hit Lance's bed with a crunch before lifting off again. Her fingertips graced the ceilings surface and she hung in the air for a second before crashing down once again on the pile of Tool CD's.

"Breaking Benjamin?" Asked John, who was across the room tearing apart Lance's CD rack.

Wanda gagged and another CD got chucked into the pile. Wanda came smashing down on the pile again.

_Crunch_

"311?"

_Crunch_

"Nickelback?"

_Crunch_

"Evanescence?"

_Crunch_

"Screw this," John lifted the CD rack up and lugged it over to Lance's bed and dumped it beneath Wanda's feet. Wanda grabbed his hands and yanked him up on to the bed.

"It might be quicker to torch –

John was shut up by Wanda's tongue.

xXx

"Fuck!" Echoed through the Bayville streets along with a siren at least a mile away and a dog that just wouldn't shut up. Rogue had lost her footing and was dangling from a second story fire escape. She pulled herself up and crawled over to a window. Beneath the windowsill lay a pile of cigarette butts.

She managed to lift the antique window open with great difficulty. She lifted her right foot over the threshold and ducked her head down in order squeeze through. Her head hit the window with a thud. The sound awoke the sleeping Cajun and he sat up in his bed.

"Who's there?!"

Rogue flinched at his bellow and fell through the threshold landing sideways on the floor.

"It's meh, swamprat!" She said with a scowl as she felt her head, there would be a lump there in the morning.

Remy got out of bed and walked over to her to help her up.

"Why the hell is the front door locked?" She asked. The acolytes were very neglectful when it came to locking up the base. According to Remy, if anyone wanted to get in, a deadbolt wouldn't stop them.

"Oh, John came home saying somethin' bout Avalanche wanting him dead. It's a good thing you didn't get the door open. The whole downstairs is booby trapped…Ah wasn't exactly expecting a visit from you in the middle of the night."

Rogue looked up at him. "Yeah, well, Ah've sorted stuff out."

"Huh?" Remy asked. Rogue stared at him biting her lip. The room was pitch black except for the moonlight coming in through the windows but he could see that Rogue's eyes were lit up by passion. "oh…" Was all he managed to mutter.

xXx

(1) - Part A (the punching babies thing) Yes, I love Dane Cook, even if he does do awful romantic comedies, he's still an awesome stand up.

- Part B (the Eddie Vedder thing) Eddie Vedder, being the lead singer of Pearl Jam, does have a weird voice. I'm not insulting the band, I just can't stand the sound of that guys voice. (Actually since writing this I have fallen in love with "Hard Sun" despite his voice.)

(2) – Translation of a Latin expression

(3) – Wanda is referencing Chapter 2 when John sings the Cyndi Lauper song "Girl's Just Wanna Have fun". John is referencing the other Cyndi Lauper song "She Bop" which is full of metaphors for masturbation. "I touch myself" is very clearly about self-love.

(4) – Some more Mystery Science Theater 3000 movies

A/N: Wow, a lot of music in this chapter, and a strange absence of abuse. (What's with that?) I can't promise an update too soon, so you'll have to wait for the rest of that last Romy scene, which I promise will be worth the wait.


	7. If You Love Somebody

Chapter 7 - If You Love Somebody, Better Set Them On Fire (1)

Rogue and Remy stood in the dark a foot from each other. The look in Rogue's eyes was beating at Remy's self control.

"How do we…?" He asked. Rogue shrugged.

"Ah dunno," She looked down at their hands and slowly reached out her gloved one toward his. She took it and looked back up him. She squeezed and he squeezed back.

Rogue had been lying in her bed staring at the ceiling not long before this, with nothing to think about but Remy. The ride home from the library had been unbearable. Logan began a lecture that continued on long after they arrived back at the institute. Not wanting to hear it Rogue had stormed upstairs and lain in bed for next few hours, "sorting stuff out". Ultimately her gut won and she slipped out the window.

In the dark bedroom she smiled up at him and, shaking, got on her tippy toes. Their lips met for half a second before Rogue pulled away. Remy felt tingles on his lips. No pain. Rogue had just managed to inhale when Remy pulled her back towards him. The tingles raced up and down his spine.

For no reason other than the need to breath they pulled away from each other. Rogue smirked, her eyes glowing red.

"On your tenth birthday your brother put worms in your piñata." The memory was vivid in her head. It added to the short list of things she knew about Remy's past.

In his passion Remy had forgot the consequences of her touch. A part of Remy wanted Rogue to know everything about him, all the things no one else knew. The logical Remy knew better.

But his logical self was long gone.

Remy's arms wrapped around Rogue's waist and pulled her into him. Rogue's arms went up around his neck. Her mouth curled into a smile she couldn't suppress. Remy, weak at the knees, fell back against the wall. He ignored the tingles that were growing sharper.

They both let go of any restraint they might normally have had. Their pent up passions had taken control. Though Rogue was getting a bit annoyed of all of Remy's memories that she had to push aside in order to remain in the present.

Some random visuals of New Orleans, a rather violent game of Spit (awesome card game) with Pyro, a leggy blonde chick. Rogue's head was beginning to hurt. She pushed away from Remy, who didn't let go too easily.

Remy was feeling dizzy now from the pain but it couldn't compete with actually getting to touch Rogue.

"What's wrong?" Remy asked wondering what on earth could be reason for them to part.

"Mah head hurts." Rogue clutched her forehead. The flow of memories hadn't slowed. Spit elevated to a fistfight between the two acolytes.

Rogue snatched her hand from Remy's when he reached for it. She was a few years in the past.

The room she stood in was dark and windowless. It was lit by a harsh light that hung from the ceiling.

She heard heavy breathing and looked up to see a man sitting with his hands bound to the chair he sat in. Even sitting he appeared huge. He was at least seven feet tall and his muscles bulged beneath his tattered clothing.

Rogue, in Remy's body, sat down in a chair across from the man and looked down at a file that lay on the table between them.

"Mark Hallet" She read casually and peered back up at the man. He didn't stir. Rogue sighed and sat back in her chair. "Where are yah from, Mark?" No response. "Would yah rather Ah call yah Sunder?"

Sunder remained silent except for his heavy breaths.

"This doesn't have to take long. You can just tell me where your friends are and then go back to your cell."

Sunder's bruised face scowled and he clenched his muscles. He struggled without success to break the ropes that bound him. It was only now that Rogue noticed the metal collar around his neck.

"Mutation Negator. Forge just came up with it." She said with a smirk. She glanced up at the two way mirror across the room. "Not gonna talk?"

Once again Sunder gave no response. Rogue stood up silently. On the table beside Sunder's file was a plastic bag. She took it and walked around behind Sunder.

"Where are the Morlocks hiding?"

With no response Rogue gripped Sunder's chin and pulled the bag over his head, pulling it tight around his neck. Sunder tried to keep calm but as the oxygen ran out his breaths got shorter.

The blood rushed to his face as he panicked. There was barely any oxygen left in the bag now and Sunder was using it up faster now with his frantic breaths.

Rogue pulled the bag up enough to let Sunder breath from his mouth. He gasped the air in.

"Where are the Morlocks?" She repeated. No response. She pulled the bag back over his chin. She waited a moment till she felt he was close enough to suffocation and pulled it up from around his mouth.

"Where are they?"

Again there was no response from Sunder and she pulled the bag back over his chin. This time when she pulled it up for him to breath he only managed to stutter something.

"P-p-please, sto-

She pulled the bag back over his chin. Again and again she repeated this till Sunder was sobbing and pleading with her, but not giving away any information. She sighed and dropped the plastic bag.

She marched over to the lone door in the room and exited. Standing there in the dark hallway peering through the two way mirror stood a man in a white doctor's coat with greased back black hair.

"He's not gonna talk." Said Rogue.

"He's more loyal than I expected." The man looked from the mirror to Rogue. "Its alright, I've got the others working on something in L.A. that shouldn't fall through." He turned to leave. "Get rid of him."

After the man left Rogue opened the door the room. She looked at Sunder. He was hunched over in the chair still sobbing. Without a pause she reached for the handgun in a holster around her waist. She aimed and pulled the trigger.

Rogue flinched as Remy reached for her. The memory had only lasted a moment and Rogue was now back in Remy's bedroom.

"Chere?"

Rogue looked up him with his own red eyes, the look in them made Remy freeze.

"..rogue.." Was all he could mutter.

"No!" She snapped and pulled away from him. He let her go, still frozen.

xXx – Now for some comic relief…

"AARRGGHH!!" Echoed through the Acolyte base. Pyro leapt out of a closet on the first floor armed with a wiffle ball bat and pot on his head as a makeshift helmet.

"Ha! I caught you, Avalanche!" He yelled at the figure who was suspended in the air by the ankle. "Oooh, shit" He muttered after realizing that, no, he had not caught Avalanche, rather a three hundred pound, and rather pissed, feline. "Sorry, Sabertooth, I –

John was cut off by Sabertooth's roar, which in true cartoon fashion blew the Australian's hair back and covered his face in slobber. He turned on his heel and bolted down the hallway. Sabertooth struggled to untangle himself, with little success. He hit the floor, still tangled up in the rope.

He ran after the fleeing John but tripped a wire and a bookshelf came toppling down on him. Sabertooth roared in anger even louder this time and stood up, sending the bookshelf flying, and continued after John. On his way to the pyromaniac he tripped on a couple hundred marbles that happened to be lying on the floor, had a bucket of paint dumped on him, and dodged a dozen beer bottles that came flying at him.

Ahead of him, John kicked open the back door and leapt down the back steps. The sun was coming up over the neighborhood. John veered around the side of the base and went bounding towards the sidewalk.

As he reached it only then did he notice the figure he was headed for at top speed. He skidded to a halt an inch from her. Wanda looked at him in bewilderment.

"Hi, there" She said wondering why it was he was running for his life at seven in the morning. But she dismissed the question cause well, it was John, and smirked. "I brought bacon."

John took a moment to gaze at the airtight package that contained proof of God's existence, but was woken from its spell by the sound of the back door bursting open. He grabbed Wanda by the arm and jetted up the front steps.

After the front and back doors had been barricaded to John's liking (this meant that all the furniture on the first floor was blocking both doors.) he declared that it was breakfast time.

Wanda stood at the stove cooking bacon while John sat on the counter beside her, watching (it was her turn to cook).

"So why exactly does Sabertooth want you dead?" Wanda asked picking up a piece of finished bacon off the pan with a spatula and placing it on an empty plate beside the stove. John picked it up and popped it in his mouth.

"Well after yesterday I figured Lance'ld be coming down here."

Wanda smirked. "He won't be doing much of anything for a while." She placed another piece of bacon onto the plate, which John snatched.

"Oh?" He asked with a cocked eyebrow. Wanda looked away still smiling.

"You know I don't flog and tell."

Another piece of bacon was placed on the plate and gone a second later.

"Anyway, Sabertooth was unlucky enough to have a key to the front door and may have walked into a few 'hindrances' that were intended for Lance."

Wanda scooped up the remaining bacon strips from the pan and put them on the empty plate. She then went into the fridge and gabbed the milk for the pancake batter. She turned back around and found all the bacon but one shriveled piece gone from the plate.

"I saved you one."

Wanda rolled her eyes and snatched the last piece. John hopped off the counter.

"What's on the schedule today?"

xXx

Remy sat on the fire escape chain-smoking. He was oblivious to the racket on the first floor, but he had watched Sabertooth run around the base in a rage banging on doors and windows before settling on sulking on the front steps.

The pile of cigarette butts at Remy's feet was growing. He hadn't smoked like this in the past month. There was a while there when he was happy.

Remy sighed. Another cigarette had burnt down to the filter. He reached in his jacket for his pack. Empty. He lay back against the windowsill.

This was what always happened. Why hadn't he realized that this time would end the same way? Why had he thought _she_ would be different? Anyone he ever got close hated him once they new of his past. He shouldn't have expected her to be different. And yet, this was different. Her rejection left him more miserable than any other.

xXx

Below, on the front stoop sat a brooding Sabertooth. The beast had had enough of body slamming the front door and had decided to instead imagine all the ways he would torture John once he did find a way into the base.

As he sat there with a smile on his bearded face he did not notice the cloaked man who had seemingly appeared out of a dead end alley. The man walked up the giant cat and waited to be noticed. Sabertooth was having to much fun in a fantasy that involved John being strung up by his feet and so the man cleared his throat.

Sabertooth looked up and saw nothing but a black cloak and a pair of yellow eyes peering out from under its hood.

"Yeah?" the cat growled.

The man didn't say anything, just held out a manila envelope. Sabertooth took the envelope and the man slithered away.

xXx

Wanda giggled in a girlish way that made herself want to puke, but she couldn't help it.

"No, seriously. Why are you just hanging around here?"

John shrugged. "I dunno, With Magneto gone I don't have to do anything. I've got a roof over my head, free of rent, and money to last me a while. Why should I leave?"

"'gone'? You think he's dead?"

"You think he's _alive_?"

Wanda's eyes burned. "I _know_ he's alive."

John stared at her from across the couch. "I saw your room."

"What?" She asked.

"Yesterday, your door was open and I looked in. You're still looking for him. Is that what all the maps are for? And the newspaper clippings?"

"You don't understand." Wanda defended. "I can't rest until he's dead."

"Why not? I get what he did to you, but what will killing him get you?"

Wanda stood up angrily. "You worked for him, you know what he's capable of! I'd be doing the world a favor!"

"That's not the point."

"Oh? and what is?!"

"I don't think its healthy."

Wanda growled and stormed off towards the door.

"Wanda," called John hopping off the couch after her.

The bookcase, recliner and three kitchen chairs that blocked the front door glowed blue and flew away from the door. John reached Wanda as she swung the door open.

"Wanda, can you just listen?"

"Not if your just gonna call me crazy!" She stormed out the door and down the steps past the fuzzy cat.

John, who was about to run after Wanda, squealed at the sight of Sabertooth, who grinned at the sight of him. The cat grabbed John by the collar and dragged him back into the base.

xXx

John shook in the chair Sabertooth had sat him in.

"Gambit!" Sabertooth called to the Acolyte on the second floor. He then took the manila envelope he had been given and pulled out a compact disc.

Remy arrived at the bottom of the stairs.

"Yeah?"

"The boss has sent us a video." Sabertooth said putting the CD into the DVD player.

"what?" Asked John.

"How Osama of him," Said Remy not quite as phased as John. (2)

xXx

(1) - This title is take from an awesome Dead Milkmen song which I thought applied very well to John and Wanda. Here's an excerpt:

You know that it would be untrue 

You know that I would be a liar

 If I were to say to you 

I didn't set your house on fire 

But it's just the way I am 

You'll have to take it for a fact

 Life can really burn you up 

When you're a pyromaniac

"If you love someone" by the Dead Milkmen

(2) – yeah, I know, kind of off color.

A/N: Finally! Chapter 8 will be the last one :( but I'll be happy to be free of this. Next Chapter: Magneto's back!


	8. For Lack of a Better Title

A/N: I Lied! There will be an epilogue up in a week or so. Sorry I just couldn't fit it all into one chapter.

The rating on this keeps jumping around but I've settled on T.

xXx

Chapter 8 – For Lack of a Better Title

Four acolytes watched the sun set over Manhattan from a stockyard in Brooklyn. John shivered in the evening air.

"Why does Mag's insist we show up an hour before he does?" He asked bitterly huddled between Piotr and Remy for warmth.

"So he can make an entrance." Said Remy feeling as bitter as his Australian friend.

Sabertooth, Magneto's only loyal servant, made a grunt and the other three looked up to see a figure gliding down to the ground.

"Did his cape get bigger?" Gambit asked of the vast bed sheet that fluttered behind him in the wind.

"His spandex tighter?" Both grimaced at John's observation.

Magneto landed gracefully and marched towards his minions.

"Hello, Acolytes," He said in a holier-than-thou tone. "How has your past month been?" The two love sick Acolytes grunted while the other two opted for silence. "Come now," He said turning away from them. "We must plan a Homecoming party."

xXx

From a roof top a witch watched through binoculars. The boy who had claimed Magneto was dead had led her right to him.

xXx

Rogue lay in bed, where she'd been since three that morning. It was now four in the afternoon. She'd played sick, though Logan knew she was lying. He had caught her coming home that night.

"Stripes?" He had called down the dark hallway as Rogue reached her bedroom door. She wiped her wet eyes, which only further smeared her eyeliner. "You alright?"

"Yup" She nodded too quickly and gave her lie away. He didn't question her any further. She was safe and at home. He could figure the rest out in the morning. Besides he already had a good idea of where her tears had come.

Now, many sleepless hours later, Rogue wasn't any closer to stirring. Remy's memories were still vivid in her head. Each worse than the previous.

She had known he'd worked for Magneto. She had known there were things about his past he didn't share. And she had accepted that. She knew better than to judge some one based on their past.

But how could she be with someone who was capable of the things she had seen?

Somehow she found the strength to move and crept down to the lower level of the institute. (They kept the good painkillers in the medical ward.) She carefully peeked around a corner. The coast was clear. She carefully stuck one toe out but flinched at the sound of her name.

"Rogue," She heard from behind her. Scott stood there in his X-men suit. "I was just coming to get you and the rest of the team."

Rogue groaned. "Why?"

"Magneto"

Rogue's attention was caught. "What?"

Minutes later the entire team was suited up and being briefed by Scott.

"Magneto was spotted in Manhattan last night. We can't be sure exactly of his plans but this morning Logan went by the Acolyte base and found it empty."

Rogue looked across the room to Logan. He noticed her stare but kept his eyes one Scott.

"The Professor has traced the Acolytes to lower Manhattan. We will go there and patrol the area."

Rogue did not want to see Remy, especially under these circumstances, but she doubted her teammates would let her get out of it. Plus Logan would most likely know her reasons for not wanting to go.

She felt she had to redeem herself. She'd spent the last month cavorting around with Magneto's lackeys, the least she could do was chip in on stopping them from blowing something up.

xXx

The Black Bird touched down in the East River and the X-men took their places in the ten-block radius in which Magneto had been spotted. Rogue was lucky enough to be stationed at the shore by the Brooklyn Bridge.

It smelt like a pile of dead cats. She was going to kill Scott. She paced around the sidewalk impatiently. She was as pissed off as the hundreds of drivers stuck in the traffic jam on the bridge.

"How are you holding up?" Cyclops' voice asked through Rogue's headset.

"I'm fihne," Said Rogue through clenched teeth. "How sure are yah that this source that claimed Magneto was in New York is reliable?"

"You can never be to careful, Rogue."

Rogue growled. She was _really_ going to kill Scott. She reached the end of the block and turned around to double back but froze.

"Remy?"

"What?" Asked Scott through the headset.

"Nuthin'." Rogue clicked her headset off and continued to stare at Gambit who stood a few feet from her.

"Get outta here." He ordered.

She didn't move. "No."

Remy sighed. "Rogue, yah don't want ta be here right now, Leave."

"What is Magneto planning to kill a couple hundred civilians?!"

"Rogue-

Rogue clicked her headset on. "Ah've spotted one of the Acolytes at 5th and 89th, at the mouth of the Brooklyn Bridge."

Remy backed away from her. It was only now that she noticed he was crying. He reached back and grabbed a rope that hung over the bridge's railing. It glowed red when he charged it. Her eyes followed the glowing rope and realized that it was coiled around the bridge's base.

Over the horizon Jean Grey and Storm flew, followed by the rest of the team on the ground.

Two Acolytes ran from their positions on the bridge towards Remy.

"What are you doing!? You not supposed to charged the rope till-

Pyro and Collosus stopped at the sight of the entire X-men ensemble.

They stood staring at each other for a moment before Sabertooth charged past Pyro roaring. Logan ran at his rival and the rest followed suit. A wall of flames burst from Pyro's flamethrower and light bolts and bursts of red energy shot through the air. Bewildered commuters ran from their cars.

The only two who remained still were Rogue and Remy. She wondered if he would do it. Let go of the rope and let the bridge blow. He was as frightened as she was that he might in fact be capable of it.

"Gambit, my boy!" Yelled a voice. Rogue looked up and saw a figure perched atop one of the bridge's towers. "Follow your orders!"

Remy's eyes burned into Rogue's. "I'm sorry" He said in a whisper. His hand slowly parted from the rope. There was a moment of dead silence as all the fighting stopped and the mutants stared at the bridge.

Even with the anticipation Rogue fell backwards at the sound of the explosion. She couldn't hear a thing, her ears were ringing.

With out any support the bridge sunk and cars and pedestrians slid into the river.

All but Logan was too stunned to move. He went to charge at Gambit but realized he couldn't move. Then against his will his metal lined body stepped forward. His arms reached out and grabbed Rogue, who still sat on the sidewalk, holding her arms behind her back.

Metal railings ripped out of their places on the bridge and wrapped themselves around the rest of the X-men snuggly.

Magneto glided down to the sidewalk where the mutants stood.

Jean eyed a large piece of ruble. A second later it flew past Magneto's head.

He chuckled. "I almost forgot." Magneto pulled out a metal briefcase and opened it. Inside were a dozen metal collars. The collars flew and wrapped themselves around each of the x-men's necks.

"You won't be needing that." Said Magneto peeling the metal visor from Scott's eyes. Scott flinched and shut his eyes tightly. But something felt different. He slowly opened his eyes. Nothing. For the first time in a long time he looked at the world with out the red tint.

The sky cleared up and Storm's eyes returned to the their strange blue.

Magneto smirked as the X-men all stood confused. Their powers had mysteriously faded.

"Mutation negators." Stated the king of Magnets. "Thought they'd come in handy when I had to deal with you."

Still being restrained by Logan, Rogue managed to slide a glove off. She cautiously lowered her index finger to a bare patch of Logan's skin. He smiled for her when he didn't feel a thing. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

Remy looked away from Rogue to his boss.

"Where did you get those?"

Magneto smirked at him. "An old associate of yours."

Remy looked back to Rogue who was gazing at her bare hands. There was a light in her eyes he had never seen before.

Sirens whined in the background. Growing closer. A helicopter flew overhead, its spot light gliding over the mutants at the mouth of the bridge.. Magneto yelled something but couldn't be heard over the copter's racket. He sighed and with a flick of his finger the vehicle plummeted into the East River.

Around a corner a bunch of police cruisers and SWAT vans arrived. Magneto turned to his Australian minion.

"Take care of them."

The officers filed out of the vehicles and aimed countless guns at the mutants. They paused though. They weren't sure at whom they should fire.

Pyro obediently drew a flame and threw he arm back to hurl it in their direction. But before he released his arm he noticed motion in the corner of his vision.

He leapt forward as a beam from the bridge toppled over. The gigantic tower of metal with the blue auror around it nearly crushed Magneto before he saw it and forced it in the other direction.

It shook the ground as it landed on what remained of the bridge.

"Wanda!" The father called out to the daughter. From beneath the crumbling bridge the Scarlet Witch flew up into the sky (1). Ruble from the bridge began flying towards Magneto, who skillfully dodged it.

"ARGGH!!" Wanda screeched. She could not hold back her rage at the sight of her father. She continued to hurl ruble at him but her anger made her reckless.

John watched from the ground terrified. She wasn't really attempting to take on Magneto by herself?

A door ripped itself from an abandoned car flew towards the Witch. She was thrown backwards and hit the pavement.

"Wanda!" John dashed to her side. Her body lay motionless. He patted her cheek. "Are you okay?" Wanda's hand shot up and grabbed John's.

"Quick it." She snapped. Her eyes opened slowly to see John's smile of relief. "What are you smiling about?" She asked in an annoyed tone. The two had only a moment to stare at each other before Magneto's anger boiled over.

He drew his hand back to hurl a beam at the Acolyte who dared speak to his daughter, but was blinded by an explosion inches in front of him. He fell backwards, losing control on the metals around him. His hold on Logan dropped momentarily and he let go of Rogue.

Gambit threw another handful of cards at Magneto who was this time prepared. He dodged the explosion and lifted Gambit up by his boots and flung him towards the edge of the bridge.

Rogue bolted to ledge of the bridge. Her outstretched arm caught Remy's. He now dangled over the edge of the sinking bridge. Rogue lay on the pavement with out the strength to pull Remy up.

It took a moment for them both to realize it but they were touching, without consequences.

"Wow," Said Remy looking at where their skin touched.

"Yeah," Said Rogue back. She was slowly sliding further over the edge.

"Rogue," Said Remy with tears in his eyes. Their grip on each other was slipping. "Ah sorry, Ah-

"This ain't the tihme, Swamprat!" She snapped.

"Ah love yah."

Rogue shut her eyes as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Ah love yah too."

"Aw how cute" Bellowed a voice. "They love each other." Magneto apparently found this very amusing. "Too bad young love never lasts."

Magneto wiggled his finger and Rogue felt the collar around her neck loosen.

"No." She sobbed. The collar ripped off her neck and almost immediately Rogue felt Remy's memories flood her psyche. She was soon back in New Orleans and Remy was passed out barely holding on.

With every second Rogue drained more of Gambit's energy.

"Arghhh!" Flame burst from John's flamethrower and he and Wanda stormed at Magneto. Once again his hold on the metal around him dropped.

Logan, again able to move, ran over to Rogue. He helped her pull the unconscious Remy up over the edge. Placing two fingers on the Cajun's neck he sighed in relief.

"He's got a pulse."

John's flames surrounded Magneto. Wanda hurled and giant hunk of rubble at him, which pinned him to the ground. She stomped over to where he lay and stood over him. There was rage in her eyes.

Here she was. She had imagined this day since she was a small child. The day that she would get back at her father for what he did to her. She drew her hand back, ready to strike, but paused.

She felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked back and saw John. The look in his eyes made her lower her fist. She looked at the ground and then at her father.

"You're not worth it."

John gave her an "I'm proud of you" look.

"Don't look at me like that." She snapped before jamming her tongue down his throat.

After Rogue took off his mutation negator, Kurt returned to his fuzzy blue self and bamfed the rest of the team out of their restraints.

Magneto managed to wiggle out from under the rubble Wanda had trapped him under but realized the entire NYPD had their plastic guns aimed at his skull.

Jean looked in disgust at John and Wanda who were rolling around one the pavement.

"Ick," She said while Scott gazed longingly at the couple.

_Hmmph. Nothing like that ever happens to me._

xXx

– I never saw Wanda fly in Evolution, but she did in some of the comics.


	9. Epilogue

Epilogue

A/N: Okay, it's a late update and the chapter was written at 11 pm, but I finished it, so here it is.

xXx

Epilogue

Remy opened his eyes slowly and found that he was lying in a hospital bed. He looked around the room. Rogue had fallen asleep in a chair, her head resting on his bed.

He smiled. She was so cute.

He looked around the room, it was very chic for a hospital room and there was a large X hanging over the door. It only took him a second to realize he was not in a hospital.

He shook Rogue's shoulder, careful not to let their skin touch. She mumbled something and turned her head to look at him.

"What?" She started in a cranky voice. "REMY!" She immediately changed her tone and sat up.

"What happened?" His head was throbbing. He finally knew how the coyote felt after getting nailed by the anvil.

"Ah almost killed yah!" Said Rogue with a big smile on her face.

"Well Ah remember that much."

"Yah've been out of it for a couple of days. John and Wanda are once again crazy in love-

"You mean crazy _and _in love,"

Rogue shrugged. "It works."

Remy looked at Rogue. Her hair was disheveled and her eyes gave away the fact that she hadn't had good sleep in days. He wondered if she'd slept in his room every night. His throat tightened.

"Look, Rogue," Remy began. "All that shit Ah did, it was a long time ago, and yah gotta know I regret it every day-

"Ah know." Rogue interrupted then paused. "Ah absorbed a lot on the bridge… besides, that's who you were then, not who yah are now."

Remy starred into her deep green eyes. This femme was different.

He looked away and noticed the bandages that covered his arms.

"Remy's guessing Xavier'll want meh outta here soon."

"There's an invitation for to stay."

Remy snorted. "Last time wolvie saw meh he tried to kill meh,"

"Actually," Corrected Rogue. "Last time he saw yah he saved yah're ass from, well, meh."

Remy thought for a moment. He doubted he'd be welcome within a hundred feet of the Acolytes' base and he could use a place to sleep. He sighed. "Ah can hang out for a while."

Rogue smirked.

"So where have the _psychotic honeymooners_ been hidin'?"

"They haven't been hiding, actually, Magneto skipped town with the big cat and left the base empty. John and Wanda have been there by themselves since Piotr hopped a flight to Russia the second Magneto was gone."

Remy frowned. "They've been alone in that place?"

Rogue smirked. "Ah went by there the other day to tell them how you were doing and all the windows were smashed."

"What was the inside like?" Remy asked bracing himself.

"Yah think Ah went in!? Ah sprayed the doorbell Lysol before I even touched it."

"Do yah know if it's been condemned yet? Wanda might owe me fifty bucks." Remy asked trying to find the one upside. (1)

"Well nobody was in a hazmat suit so Ah assume not."

"damn," Swore Remy under his breath.

"Oh yeah!" Said Rogue quickly. She leaned over the bead and planted a kiss right on Remy's lips. His eyes shot open and he fidgeted a bit before he realized it didn't hurt a bit. Rogue pulled away and all he could do was stare at her bewildered.

She smirked and pointed to a metal collar around her neck.

"Snagged it when Logan wasn't lookin'."

xXx

Rogue, Remy and Wanda sat outside the abandoned Acolytes base beside one of the X-jeeps. Remy hated driving around in it. Rogue had to teach him to drive stick and it smelt like Scott's cologne.

John came out of the front door stumbling over the three boxes he was carrying that were filled to the brim with clothes, CD's, countless decks of cards, and other items belonging to Remy. He wobbled over to the car and very dramatically dumped the boxes in the back seat.

"I honestly don't understand why you couldn't get your stuff yourself." He said after doing the task.

"Cause you two've been alone in there for a week." Said Remy pointing to the base with a disgusted face.

"Yeah, John, we need an apartment, the other day I was dying my hair in the bathroom and I swear to God that blue stuff in the bathtub moved." Said Wanda.

"But that place is full of memories!" Protested John.

"Like what? " Asked Wanda. "The time you got stoned and ran your head through the wall cause you thought the flowers on the wallpaper were possessed by the devil?"

"Or the other tihme yah got stoned and ran your head through the wall cause yah thought the wallpaper was possessed by the devil?" Added Remy. (2)

John pouted at his defeat.

"There's still an invitation for both of you from Proffesor X." Said Rogue climbing into the jeep along with Remy.

Wanda shook her head. "Saving the world really isn't my thing, plus, _spandex_." She grimaced at the last word.

Rogue looked to John who also shook his head. "I'm too big a fan of arson."

Remy turned the key in the ignition. "See yah round town?"

John smirked. "Just look for the smoke."

xXx

1 – Wanda and Remy have a bet going on how long it will take for the Acolyte base to be condemned, mentioned in Chapter 4

2 – Yes, apparently Magneto took the time to put floral wallpaper up in his base.

xXx

A/N: THE END!! I might go back and revise the last few chapters, they were a little rushed. But for now this is the E-N-D.


End file.
